BLIND SPOT

Maybe the second & minute hands should never have been determinants of our fates. How is something so inanimate & fickle given so much power and control over an individual?

Is it part of the process? The training? Is it the jolt we need every now & then to nudge us in the right direction? Or is it just a plain attempt at mockery of the human species? I guess we’ll never know.

We’d have to bide on earth & see wherever it takes us; if we do surrender or march onward. And what happens after all is said & done? The afterlife? Purgatory? Paradise? Judgement? Jannah? Can we get a glimpse of what all the hassles of life will eventually be about? I’m just saying, it will be nice to attach some meaning and purpose to the ups and downs we encounter daily. 

We are the most advanced species, yet so clueless. We have gotten almost everything right, but how do we define divinity? Is there a clear cut definition or is it just in our heads? Those destinations when we finally kick the bucket; are they all in our heads? 

I guess we’ll never know. Unless…

—————————————-

I was sat beside Uche in the surgical outpatient department. Her veins were out and about, like the ones of a blood-thirsty vampire when it finds its prey. She was holding onto me for dear life, her grip on my arms almost sucking out all the energy left in me. I was now holding on to the chair, onto my own dear life. Then she let go, I felt life come back into me and life depart her. Seizures here & there until she gave her last breath.

It felt strange. I was still sat beside her. I did nothing to help. I could have called a doctor or a nurse at the very least. But I just sat there and watched the life seep out of her eyes. As a bitter Nihilist, I was envious, because she was about to know the answer to something that has bordered on our existence and bothered me my whole life – where are we even going? 

I guess I would say Dan Brown helped in a way. His book, Origin, talks about where we come from and where we are going. I could dwell on the origin of life, but please, one headache at a time. In order not to beat about the bush, he (Dan Brown) iterated that we weren’t going anywhere. He said a more advanced species would take over. Wow, I felt sad. I thought we were exceptional and the chosen ones? For hundreds of years, we had created a life so good for ourselves and thought of ourselves as the superiors. Each and every egoistical one of us. And now this? We are about to be annihilated? Amazing. Now, Dan Brown went further to say technology is that species that will take over.  No I do not mean robots. I mean technology, like the phone I’m using right now. The phone that wakes me up by my alarm, or tells me the time, or sets up a reminder in my calendar. The car that takes us wherever we want as a result of technology. The contact lens and glasses that help us see better as a result of technology. The toys we get our kids, the game consoles, as a result of technology. The television stations we get so engrossed in, as a result of the tech. Apparently, some movies are now interactive, in a way. Also, prosthesis & whatnot.

It has a name. It is called Technium. You know, like planetium blah blah, you get the point. But don’t you see it, we are already run by them. We are dependent. 

Well the good news is that, we’ve got about 50years until that happens, soo, yaay? That just gives the tech more time to incorporate itself deep into our lives and you know, become more advanced and make us slaves of our creation. Let’s just hope the all-knowing Dan Brown gets this one wrong, how about that? 

———————————————

Uche’s sudden reaction jolted me out of my thoughts on Technium. She came back? I could swear I literally saw her give up the ghost. Only one thing ran through my head now. She is aware of something I am totally nescient about, and she will tell me. I reached out to grab her feeble hand in hopes to render comfort; she was shivering. I adjusted the wool blanket so I could get every edge of her vein infested body. Her temperature was over the roof and I could not imagine what she was experiencing. Uche had seen the afterlife. Uche knew something. 

Uche knew something. 

I left her in the ward with the doctor while I rushed out to get some fruits, malt and milk. She’d need all the energy she can get to tell me about her new found knowledge. 

I got there after about an hour 30minutes, this Lagos traffic is actually rude & really doesn’t know when to take a break. A ghost of a smile appeared on my lips and she returned the gesture, tiredly. Every nerve in me wanted to ask her to share this experience but I managed to tap into the last of my humanity.

I go, “babe, you doing okay?”

She goes, “surviving, literally.”

“I can see,” I say, rubbing her palms gently. I couldn’t wait anymore 

“What was it like?”

“What was what like?”

“You know, dying. What did you see?”

“It was dark.”

Here we go again.

Uche went on to tell me what everyone else thinks about the other-side; It was dark and lonely. She told me all she could see was a path illuminated by the faint glow of the moonlight. She didn’t know where to turn so she remained in the darkness silhouetted by sky high trees until she felt the path get narrow. She began walking and when she got to crossroads, she heard her sister call her name. So she picked up the pace and ran, & in a split second, she felt life come back into her. 

As you’d imagine, I wasn’t amused. I was expecting something not so cliche. That’s probably not a word you use when a dear friend tells you their life or death story, but the thoughts that go through my head scare me sometimes. I feel like I have no soul or compassion, which is relative by the way.

I managed to hug Uche as anything I say might and will come off as insensitive/careless. 

She goes, “thank you for being here.”

I was undeserving of her thanks and I knew it. I just held her in the warm embrace instead & then I go, “Just glad you could make it back in time. You thought I’d let you leave me in this stressful life?” 

————————————–

There goes my discovery of the essence of life. I was this close to it, yet nothing. 

I may have to find out myself, even if it means not coming back…